“Sharing my own personal experience to encourage others to not give up on living a pain free life…”

I was 16 when I had to quit dance due to chronic hip pain. Even after taking a year off I was unable to return to the competitive dancing I had done my whole life. I took the typical routine of doing physical therapy and working out in the gym to the best of my ability to stay in shape. By the time I was a sophomore in college the pain had grown to affect my whole life. I was unable to sit in class, and spent most of my days in a bed as that was the only position I could be in without excruciating pain. I still managed to get some physical exercise throughout the week whether it was walking or going on the elliptical or just doing my physical therapy exercises and some abs on a mat. But the pain was making it difficult to manage classes and greatly restricted me from doing fun things with my friends and family. I grew up in a very active family who enjoyed activities on every family vacation. I became the person crying or having to sit out all the time. So I finally decided to proceed with surgery. Unfortunately I was worse off after the fact.

Almost a month post op I called my mom crying back at college because I was unable to put pants on. Not because I was still healing from surgery but because it felt like I was being skinned alive trying to slide yoga pants over my legs. Showering, wearing clothes, bumping into things, stubbing my toe, hugs and even cuddling with my dog became impossible without breaking into tears. Fortunately my mother is a physical therapist and knows other physicians. She referred me to a chronic pain doctor who diagnosed me with Fibromyalgia. Basically “it’s all in your head” label. Back then there wasn’t much literature on the subject and no one I knew had heard of it. The best was other doctors dismissing the diagnosis saying it wasn’t a real thing. So I had an imaginary condition with a fake name, excellent!

I took medication for 5 years and turned into a victim of my pain. It’s all I could think or talk about which made it not fun for people around me. I also began drinking more because it helped relieve the pain even temporarily. By the time I graduated I had found a way to have fun but the pain was always there and a constant struggle. I was constantly being told what exercises and activities to avoid from my doctors and was upset and frustrated that I was only 21 years only being told “cant” over and over again.

I don’t really know what finally pushed me to change it, other than wanting to lose some weight I had gained from lack of movement and poor diet (I was the pickiest eater, Romain was the only vegetable I would touch). I was dating someone new, giving up on acting and picking out my workouts from Pinterest. Always looking for a new program or routine that would fix me. I found Tone It Up, a female driven fitness and health community and signed up for the summer program.